Saturday 11 December 2010

R. I. P.

I went to a cremation yesterday. Didn't have to go far. Just a few metres. Stayed in farm gear: wellies, woolly hat, thermals, - the usual.
There was a bit of a bang when the match was thrown, though. Actually it was more like a mini explosion. It was the petrol, you see. Makes quite a blast when combined with an open flame.

Hubs kept me company for a while, then off to Plaisance with the car for its two yearly MOT. It failed. Now wears a label saying that it is an illegal car. Ten things wrong: windscreen crack, a leak somewhere in the internals, head lights, etc. Costly. So there goes the rebate he has just had from the Inland Revenue.

I attended the cremation for a while afterwards, though. Reflecting on life. Of the frailty of it. Of having to take decisions that are for the best, but are, nevertheless, still hard.

Wobbly lamb? Making good piles of little round balls of poo two days ago. Had a good day of feeding off milk and hay. Head up. Legs still not working. But wagging his tail at me. And calling for me when he knew I was nearby. Next morning: poo making a return to its watery state. Head laid down.

We got him up, supporting his weight. His body has changed shape. Got more pudgy round the middle, legs looking spindlier.

He took his weight on his front legs. Oh good. They seemed to be working. But what about his back legs. Why did they remained curled, disinterested.

And it came upon us the knowledge that perhaps all of his four legs were never going to work again as they should. Two in front looked like they were willing, but the back two, no.

We laid him down. His head flopped over. His eyes closed. All effort expired. So we expired him.

It is no good to keep pushing life into a living creature that has not the spirit to meet you halfway. That living creature must want to live, must want to keep in life, and you must see it in their eyes if you are going to keep up with the support work.

So we stood as a team, and expired the lamb. And it was to his cremation I went. No recycling into the freezer for him. Just a fast despatchment in total.

And so the steep learning curve continues.

RIP little lamb, and thankyou for contributing to that learning curve.


Roz said...

Oh, I'm so sorry Vera - they seem so rubust in the field when they are fit and running around but so fragile too ((((big hug))))) xxxxx

DUTA said...

Sorry for the loss of the lamb!.
Your post is written so well, and with a surprise ending (haven't heard before about cremation of animals), that I re-read it.

I suppose you did the right thing. The poor lamb was suffering and so were you & your hubby looking at it.
May its soul rest in Peace!

Diane said...

Oh Vera I am so sorry but it sounds like you did the right thing. RIP little lamb.

Sounds like the car is going to be a learning curve as well but an expensive one! Hope the problem soon gets sorted for you. Diane

Vera said...

Hi Roz: Thanks for the hug. Will share it with Lester!

Hello Duta: Thanks for your kind words. We could have buried him I suppose, but he might have got dug up again by mistake. So best to get him despatched as fast as we could.

Diane: Hi,and hope you are keeping warm in the frozen north! Ah, cars! The repairs will cost more than the value of the car, but then the car should be sound after that, hopefully!

Anonymous said...

Hello Vera,
Don't be disconsolate about the lamb Vera, because you know that you did your best to help it.
What a blow about the car; you had better get Lester a workshop manual and a can of oil for Christmas! Hope you can get it sorted out soon, I'm sure you will find a mechanic who will work miracles for you.
Good Luck!