Catching up!

 Oh dear, nearly six months since I last posted a blog. It is not that I have been bothered to write to you. Oh no. It is because words have been absent in my head, and that includes verbal words as much as written ones. It has been a heavy time for me since I was sliced open to have my heart 'repaired'. Long months of not feeling myself. Having to get used to hobbling around at a much slower pace , which has left me feeling ancient in years and useless. 

But it has been the best of times as well. The benefit of those long months of physical and mental inactivity has enabled me to rethink and revaluate  parts of my life which had caused me a a hoohah of pain and tears in abundance at the time they happened, but had become become buried in my memory, filed away  because there was no time to think them through as my life hurtled its way onwards.

So it has been a slow time for me, but one of much soul searching and much growth of self. All the emotional detritus which I had accumulated in the past has been mostly let go off, and a more refined version of me seems to have been born. I am still the same of course, but I am slightly different in self. As I have said, it has been the best of times interspersed with intense bouts of soul searching. 

I can now walk as far as the bus stop, which is on an uphill gradient so good for my thighs. It is not far, but there is no bus shelter to wait in, so if the bus is delayed it does mean having to lean on the bus stop post to support myself. I am not good at standing for a length of time, but if I take my walking pole with me then I can use that to lean on. However the walking pole is a fearsome nuisance for getting on and off the bus. Not to worry, I need it for the moment, but when out for a walk I now carry it rather than leaning on it for support all the time.

I am also helped by my shrinking bosom, the weight of which tended to make me stoop with the heaviness of them. The loss of weight has also benefitted the amount of body luggage that my physical frame has to cope with, and I have my partner to thank for this because he has put us on a low carb / sugar free regime. No more biscuits and evening nibbles..... just one meal a day (two for me) made up of protein, salad, and vegetables, with no food after 6 pm which gives the body time to digest and absorb what we have eaten. I am sleeping better, do not get up for the loo during the night, and wake up between 4 - 5 am after 7-8 hours of sleep. 

Now why did my partner decide to organise our diet? Because he was given a motor cycle jacket which he could not get into. So why does he need to have  that specific type of jacket? Because he took himself off to a motorbike test centre recently to have the necessary training for riding a bike, that's what he did....and he passed the course. He has also dropped enough weight to get into that jacket, and all he needs to do is buy a motorbike, which he spends endless pleasurable man-moments researching. I have got over my fear of him falling off and breaking his body up. He needs to live life. 

   He did mention that he thought that I could also take the motorbike course as well. I did ride a Honda 90 back in the day, but I said that the bus is alright for me at the moment.

   And the car? Not do-able for me now. I am 76 soon, and my age and the recent heart operation will combine for me not to be accepted for a renewal of my car license.  Not to worry. I have got over my feeling of having lost my freedom to go where I want to, but instead have learnt to bless the fact that I can still have use of my feet so can walk. 'Count your blessings', that is what I have learnt through my recent slow time. But I do not discount the fact that I could get an electric scooter when I get stronger! 

I have learnt that there are always options to be had if you just open your eyes to them, and not dwell so much on the obstacles which are seeming to block you. There are other ways, and if you can't find them immediately you can always send a prayer up to The Universe for help. 

Thanks for stopping by, 

Bye for now,  

Vx  

August Update!

Nearly five months since I last posted a blog, and thank you to fellow bloggers who have asked if I am still alright..... and I am, despite my thoughts earlier on in the year that I was going to end up in a wheelchair. I have made a good recovery from the operation, although my legs have an occasional tendency to get wobbly, and I still carry a walking pole when I am out and about, unless my OH is with me and holding my hand in his firm grasp. But of late I am now walking on my own, and have a better stride than I have had in the past. It is no longer a 'shuffle' of a walk, but I can't say that I am at 'full stride' yet! 

To keep my brain active and stop it from atrophying, it came to me to resuscitate a non-fiction book which had lain dormant in my computer files since 2008. It was complete at the time I wrote it, but I was getting a niggle that it needed updating, and that is what I have been doing for the last few months. It is done now and I have just finished designing the cover. It is a 280 page paperback, is autobiographical, and describes how I became a parapsychologist, which is someone who is in sync with all that is outside of the 'normal' human perception of life, and also how I learnt life lessons in abundance enabling me to finally meet my 'soul' partner, which is my OH. I have still the synopsis to do, and then on to the ebook edition, which only needs re-formatting. 

And thank goodness for the operation and the 'getting better' time because it has freed me up for getting the writing project under way. To be a writer you can't have a mind which is cluttered up with other projects, and this is something I am now learning, so I have come to bless this time and not fight against it. I have not got the life I had before the op, but I am now making the transition to a different way of life, which is not to be scowled upon by making comparisons with the old way, which I was tending to do in my lowest moments.    

Off for a walk round our park, so bye for now, 

In love and light,

Vx

Would we do it again?

This is a photo of our farm in France, curtesy of the farm's new owners who bought it in January 2020. Many were the hours we spent working on the land, all thirteen acres of it,  and we were able to become self sufficient for a while. It was a challenge, which even to this day surprises us with the effort it took, but it does make for some excellent memories. But.......would we want to do the same process all over again.....? And the answer is 'no'! 

And here is our 'acreage' here, in Oswestry, England. 

As you can see.....there is hardly any comparison between those thirteen acres in France....

However, there is still a need within me to grow things, but instead of planting long rows of crops enough to store for the winter, it will be a rows of minimal length enough for a  week or two during the summer, grown in pots and small raised beds.  No more self sufficiency for us, but it is a happy memory of a time when we were. It is good to look back on things you have done, and which gave you pleasure, but sometimes you have to exchange the time spent on that task for something else which needs your  greater attention. For me, this is my psychic and spiritual pathway, and the teaching of others who want to follow on the same pathway in life. I am aware that I have a lot to give, and that it will be a demanding pathway, but only if I let it be. 

  Meanwhile, my health is getting better. The operation knocked the wind out of my sails, but I managed one and half miles yesterday on wet and muddy ground, which had my legs complaining that they did not like the effort it took to pluck my feet from out of the underfoot soggyness. 

Onwards we go,

In love and light,

Vx