Sunday, 3 November 2013

Naughty Lissie


Lissie is under reprimand,
because she led Lester a merry dance last night,
so she has to spend the day in the sheep paddock,
away from everyone else.
This was not for the continually overturned water container,
which is an irritation for Lester,
especially when he has just filled the container up
with four buckets of water,
and she can do this,
because she has horns growing,
so she likes to practice doing things with them,
tipping the water out being one of them.


But she doesn't do mortally wounding stuff,
like a bull would perhaps do
to one's body.
No, so far she has limited the use of her horns,
to tipping over the water,
thus requiring more carrying of water to the field,
and more cleaning out of her pen.

But last night she surpassed herself,
not with her horns,
but with her feet.
Because she would not come in with the others,
and it was getting dark,
so Lester went into the field to fetch her,
and she parked herself in the small copse,
backing off when Lester approached her,
not interested in the bucket of maize,
not wanting to obey the man,
oh but she nearly did,
and than some spark of naughtiness came into her head,
and she did a sideways dart round him,
bounced herself over the field,
right over the other side,
then bounced back again,
and through the gate.

Up the drive,
out onto the lane,
with Lester hot footing it behind her,
holding his trousers up with one hand as he did so,
because they keep falling down
when he moves faster than a walk.
It was at this point that he yelled out for me,
so now two against one.

Over onto the newly seeded field,
the one which is next door to our side field,
which now has two sets of footprints imprinted
on the neatly ploughed surface,
that is where Lissie galloped,
still prancing,
still kicking up her heels.

Round and round she went,
until Lester managed to head her off,
upon which she saw me with the bucket,
and did follow me,
oh nice Lissie,
good Lissie,
hometime.

But no,
almost to the door of the tall barn,
and she did a prance sideways,
and round the front garden she galloped,
then out onto the lane,
down the drive,
past the home field entrance,
past the piglet pen,
turning right,
along the path to the river,
where she got stuck,
because there is no path down to the river beach any more,
all is now gone,
instead there is fast flowing river water,
which stopped Lissie in her tracks,
upon which Lester caught her.

Now as docile as could be,
she walked beside him,
back to bed.
But by now,
it was too dark to milk,
so we didn't.

She got her own back,
because this morning,
at milking,
she put her foot in the almost full bucket of milk,
and refused to shift it.
This is a new habit of hers,
making the milk useless for our use,
her foot usually having a good quantity
of cow pat stuck to it,
although the milk is not exactly wasted,
because it is fed to the piglets,
who will eventually,
bless them,
be eaten,
so we partake of the milk
but in a roundabout way.

As a reprimand, therefore,
Lissie was put in the sheep paddock,
there to spend the day mooing and sulking,
but at the end of the day she was quieter
and we did get some milk,
thankyou Lissie.
and we look forward to your future escapades,
which is the price we pay,
for the contribution you make towards our farm:
milk, butter, cheese, yoghurt,
clabbered milk and curds for cooking with,
whey and milk for the pigs,
whey and milk for the dogs,
milk leavings for the chickens,
much manure for the veg plot,
and a future meat supply should you have a male calf.
Bless you.
x

Now all we have to do is find some patience,
when you are in diva cow mood.

7 comments:

Niall & Antoinette said...

Gosh what a diva! Although I couldn't help laughing at the image of Lester galloping in hot pursuit of Lissie clutching his trews :-)! Perhaps a set of braces for Christmas?

Ohiofarmgirl said...

i'm not sure what to say but i'm snickering to myself. i kinda want to see Lester running now.... but. um... perhaps something more supportive? how about - wow that cow is something! i'd love to see those pups in action rounding her up - a winter project perhaps? Kai is working on herding the goats. its touchy business because she wants to eat them. :-)

rusty duck said...

She certainly keeps you on your toes! How long are those horns going to grow? They look like lethal weapons to me..
We have been on the receiving end of escaped cow this week. Must be the season.

Food, Fun and Life in the Charente said...

Animals can be so difficult at times though I am sure to them it is playtime. It sounds like she really led you both on a merry dance. Will she learn her lesson being shut up? I doubt it :-))) Have a good week Diane

Horst in Edmonton said...

So glad that the milk didn't go to waste. Lester has to be faster with his arm to deflect the leg so that it does't end up in the pail. It takes a few years of practice to get that move down. Have a wonderful week. Last night we turned the clocks back and got an extra hour of sleep. This morning we woke up to a winter wonderland of snow.

Kev Alviti said...

Animals are like people some are just a pain in the bum! We used to have sheep that would go out of their way to cause trouble. Best to mark them up and move them on next time you sell some to make your life easier in the long run!

Vera said...

Antoinette: a set of braces might be a good idea!

Ohiofarmgirl, we had a brief trial with the pups and Lissie, but it got a bit rough, so I think we shall carry on as we are in the hope that Lissie might become more helpful! Good luck with your goat herding!

Jessica, might be the time of the year! As for those horns, she is never aggressive with them but they are a growing novelty for her.

Diane, actually she did learn her lesson after she was kept in the sheep paddock for the day. Not sure how long the lesson will stay learnt though!

Horst, Lester is getting faster and is being more alert to what Lissie is going to do during being milked! Hope you stay warm.

Ken, we are too small a farm to sell on animals who are difficult, so they either end up in the freezer or we learn to cope with them. So far, all the animals which have been difficult have settled down, so there is hope for our cow yet!