Tuesday, 13 July 2021

An Update......

  So I was laid upon a bed in the x-ray unit of Stoke Hospital. After a two bouts of hospitalizations in the last six months, one of which included open heart surgery, I was not in the mood for another CT scan, which is what I was about to have. My newly furbished heart was beating loud enough in my ears enough to worry me in case it wore my new heart valve out before I had chance to adjust to it. In other words, I was a tad stressed although I was trying not to be. 

The vein in my arm was found, instructions about the procedure were said, and the scanner started moving towards me. It is a big circular tube which surrounds the body and it can be claustrophobic, although I had never found it to be on past CT scans.  This time I did. 

And then, zooming in, came my support team....... comprising of angel guides (I shall explain who they are another time), bringing with them a calmness of self and a feeling of being able to conquer all that is laid before me. Not only that, but my dear departed Uncle Jim, Aunty Rose, Uncle Don, Nan and Grandad also made their presence felt, making me feel very supported. I rode through the scan very well after that. The team and my family saw me through.

Now this might seem a bit weird to you, and I would have thought so too if I was not as psychically endowed as I am, and although it is an effort to stay connected to the Source of all that is, which was difficult during the time of my operation and recovery and often I was worried in case that link would never come back. I have worked hard to recovery that link, which has required several weeks of self healing meditations and positive thinking. It was a life test which I found to be long and hard. Not to worry, I am coming out the other side, with a greater connection to the Source of all that is, (or the Universe, or God, or any other name you use to define that power ) 

And I was reminded by the angels on my team that providing I spend time to make the links between me and them, that they can make a call to action when I need it. As for my family members who have passed on........ I never reach out to them like I do my team, they just seem to make their presence known as and when....... and it is not like I am remembering them from the memory files in my head, it is a different energy which I can only but know that they are still around even if they do no longer have a body shape. And, as a matter of interest, Mr Lobb, my piano teacher in my teenage years and who I had forgotten in the mists of time, spoke to me this morning, saying, " Keep your fingers flexible". Being psychically sensitive does make like interesting!

So I have started doing my piano exercises, but think that I shall not play the accordion again. It is a heavy instrument to play and in deference to my re-plumbed heart I think it has to go into history. But not to worry........ I am thinking about learning the melodeon and / or the concertina, which will not have the huge sound of the accordion, but at least I can play some of the our catalogue of music because they are lighter instruments to play.  Meanwhile I shall keep the piano practice going, and I shall not give up on my music. Mr Lobb has said so. 

The House Project:

It is still ongoing, and at the moment we are hoping to purchase a house in Oswestry, on the Shropshire and Welsh border. 

The Walking Project:

I am not walking up and down the lanes outside the cottage very much, but I did walk unaided through the hospital for my CT scan which surprised both me and my partner. And I walked quite strongly up to where he was waiting in the car park after the scan. I am aware that my legs are getting stronger, and that I am doing more jobs in the house. In other words, I am on the mend. 

My heart is settling down, and I am growing in confidence that it is a 'working' heart and not a 'soon to retire' heart. 

All is well, despite the ongoing trials of living life through these unsettling times, which only serve to make us stronger if we try to stay positive that all will turn out alright in the end.

Hope all is well with you. 

Bye for now, 

Vx

Friday, 18 June 2021

Getting better......

28th May 2021: Five weeks post op

So I was lying in bed, thinking about getting up. I am now post op....... five weeks since I had open heart surgery. Four things were done. One was a replacement heart valve, for which I have the paper receipt. Not sure what to do with a paper receipt if the  new valve fails and I am rendered without life......too late then to have a refund.........! Three other repairs were made as well, one of which was some tubing made of cloth...... no receipt though. All good stuff, or it would be if I wasn't so beset with a weariness which is undermining  to the soul. These are the thoughts I was having as I tried to raise myself up of the bed, an effort which took up to thirty minutes if my OH was not available for a 'haul me up' arm to act as a hoist. 

Back in early March I had a phone call from my  would-be surgeon, explaining in graphic detail about  what would be done during my open heart operation ...... He mentioned the possible negatives,  but said if all went well with the op then that I would be out of bed within two days, walking by five, and home within seven. Well that sounded OK. To my mind I would be up and jollying about on my life's pathway again toute suite...this is what I took from his phone call. 

I was feeling no pain pre-op. However, post op ..... and I was fetched up in a completely different landscape, not only full of physical pain, but all sorts of other pain as well....emotional, psychological, physiological, and all sorts of other depressional pot holes as well. This was a landscape I thought I was never going to escape. Gone was my optimism for life, but worse still was my zest for life, ........I was rendered all in pieces, like a jigsaw puzzle with all the pieces jumbled up. 

It is now the 16th June, three weeks after I started this blog, and eight weeks post op, and I am driving my husband mad, because my jigsaw puzzle pieces are now slotted back together and I am now in mid recovery although still tottery on my feet,  huff and puff with my breathing sometimes, and my energy levels are still not up to maximum. Sometimes my mind feels ten steps ahead of my body, which has my husband frequently telling me to slow down and rest. But I am me, and I am feisty, so I argue back, but then feel guilty because he is right and only wants to look after me, bless him. 

I can now walk 100 steps along the lane, but use a walking pole to stop me from tottering too much, but it is one hundred steps more towards recovery and the next chapter in our lives which will begin when we have finally found a home of our own and we can stop living out of boxes. 

Bye for now, 

Love and hugs, 

Vx



 


Tuesday, 23 February 2021

The Dawn Chorus.....

 Through the open window I heard the first tweets of the Dawn Chorus, that joyful singing of the little birds as they greet the day. It was not a large sing song this morning though, just a little male bird starting to wake up his voice, refreshing his repertory ready to engage a female in his desire to create more of his species. 

It turned into a precious day, a day which had Spring gracing the hours of the day, and saw me out in the garden and chatting to the neighours, feeling the warmth of the sun on my back as the buds on the trees swelled up in the sun's warmth. 

We have put an offer in for the house we viewed on Saturday. It was accepted. 'Jasmine cottage' is the name of the property.....

And today I have a heart scan again. Apparently the one which was taken during my hospital stay was too fuzzy. 

Off to do some meditation to prepare for the day, and ask for blessings of help from The Universe at the same time. I shall ask for you as well. 

Bye for now, 

Vx