Saturday, 12 January 2013

I should have (again!)

I should have stayed where I was, guarding the two rams who were in the small fenced off portion of the Sheep Paddock, stopping them from jumping over the fence to join the rest of the flock as they were let out into the Side Field. And I did, for forty minutes actually, not leaving my post despite the wetness of the ground seeping into  my socks, and the slight chilliness of the morning invading my bones. I had been put there at the request of Lester / Head Farmer-man, while he went off to sort out the rest of the animals.

I should have been more gentle in behaviour when Lester/Head Shepherd, tried to catch the younger of the two rams, then blamed me because I would not stand in front of the ram as the ram jumped the fence and escaped into the Paddock. I did not want to act as a physical barrier, that was all. And it was not my fault that I could not dart and weave as fast as Lester in an effort to catch the ram. After all, Lester is the one who has had rugby training, all I have had is hockey. 

I should have been less of a diva when Lester/ Grumpy S-man issued his commands to 'Go get that gate of the hinges and bring it over to me while I keep these two in the Barn'. Oh  yeah! What gate. That gate. That big gate. The one which has a metal frame and is covered in wire. Oh that gate. So I feel that I was justified in being huffy and puffy and generally ticked off as I hauled that gate off its hinges and lugged it over to Lester. I did grand diva, which much amused Lester. But OK, I should have been less of a diva, after all we had a task to do. 

I should have been willing to stand beside the young ram, holding on to his horns, calming him down, and I was. And I watched as Lester dropped him to the ground, giving calmness to all, but with a heart beating fast nevertheless. 

And now the young ram is in several pieces, some in the woods, some was hanging from the tractor but is now hanging from the beams in the house, and some is in the tummy of Bools, Gus and the chickens, and some is on the pot on the stove. 

And I should have had a go at using the head of the ram, and I did. I removed some of the fleece, and was soft in thought about the task. I felt quite in awe of that head as I laid it into the cooking pot, a little emotional, very reverent, very aware of the cycle of life, and intrigued by the way in which the sum total of the parts make up a whole being because we had just dis-assembled those parts. 

The pot will be turned off soon and left to go cold overnight. Tomorrow it will have to be sorted out. Best not to think of that at this time.

I should have smiled my way through all of the doing of this task, and I did, apart from the first part when I didn't, because my feet were wet, my  body was chilling, I had not had my breakfast, and I wanted to go to the loo. 

Apart from that, I should have, and I did.

Sometimes I do get it right!


Denise said...

Several years ago I did a counselling qualification; the tutor was very keen for us to understand that we shouldn't use the word 'must' when making decisions becaus she said 'must' was a word that other people drill into us as a sense of duty to them rather than to ourselves.

It tickled me that she said anything we said that began with the words, 'I must...' were 'musterbations' and therefore NOT to be part of our decision-making vocabulary!

So keep up with the 'should buts', Vera - and the occasional diva-ing, (because I know, in your heart, you aren't really diva material)and I look forward to seeing pictures of you flooring a ram with a hockey stick!

Vera said...

Denise, even if I had had a hockey stick I still would not have been able to stop him, - I never could hit a stationary hockey ball let alone one which was moving!

Food, Fun and Life in the Charente said...

Sounds to me like you did a good job despite the I should haves. Well done :) Diane