The last few days have seen me panicking about this podcasting project which I have embarked upon. Why do I do this. Why do I get all in a tizz and fill my head with thoughts about not being able to achieve what I originally set out to achieve in terms of my personal self. So many times when a project had appeared in my life, and was started, and brought to almost completion, and then stopped because of either me running away from it or life getting in the way.
Lack of self confidence, that is what it is. Comes from my early background. From parents who could never say 'well done', but instead chose to critisize my every endeavour. Not to worry, it was as it was, and I have learnt the reasons why they were as they were.They did their best, as all of us who are parents try to do for our children, but none of us are perfect, and we must remember that when we find ourselves passing judgement on others.
So back to podcasting.........and my tizziness.......where do I start...... I don't know.......what subjects do I use for the content of the podcast, I have a lot of subject material but which do I use, ........and then there is the learning of the camera, which is an expensive one I bought several years ago when the one I was using ended up in the mud of the sheep's paddock. The new camera has lots of knobs and things, none of which have ever been learnt by me because, well, I ncver did because the camera took good photos left on its factory settings. But now I need to take videos, because podcasting requires that I sit in front of the camera talking into it.
And then there is social media. For all of my seventy plus years I have avoided this modern technology, and do not even own a mobile phone. Since I am a trainee podcaster. I need to break through my dislike of social media. Thank goodness for YouTube. Others have paved my way with info associated with all that I need to know. All I have to do is stop panicking.
And so why am I feeling the urge to podcast. In truth, I don't know, it is just what my next project needs to be. Something to do with the Universe and me. Meanwhile the 'Jardin de Salade' project remains on hold as Lester continues working on his computer with the UK, USA, and Canada, all via a virtual environment. There is hardly any spare time in which to tend to the needs of the farm at the moment, although the animals remain well cared for. Not to worry, it is as it is, and all will turn out alright in the end.
The plants in the raised beds which were decapitated when the sheep raided the courtyard a couple of weeks of ago are not going to recover now we have had a series of sharp frosts. I did buy some onions to give me a feeling that we were keeping on going with growing our own food but I am sorry to say that we have hardly any of our produce at the moment. One thing, though, is that although there has been a 'stop' in regards to feeding ourselves, it is only temporary. This is a relief because we could have decided not to pick up the 'growing your own' pathway because of the amount of work it takes. So the vegetable plots remain untended, apart from Lester continuing his daily deliverance upon them of manure donated to us by the cows, and the sheep who are occasionally allowed to roam over them so they can eat the rampant weeds.
I shall sign off now, as other things need doing, like casting on another pair of socks on my knitting needles, emptying two large pots of sheep which have been cooking on the Rayburn, and other sundry tasks relevant to my life as a homesteader wife and erstwhile podcaster.......
Bye for now,